exjw_story_projectfandomcom-20200214-history
Deadershoppingmalls 30 Faded
I was raised a witness - 4th or 5th generation (it gets fuzzy and a generation is added or removed depending on who tells the story). By all accounts, my childhood was happy, and my parents pretty liberal. My father was always on some committee or another but he always made time for us. Eventually he became the PO/COBE of our hall and was respected as one that was very "hands off". I was baptized at 12, on reflection because I was fitting in with everyone else, rather than actually wanting to get baptized. It was too young. A lot of the kids my age were already on their way out by this point, but I did the "right thing" and got baptized, auxillary pioneered and did the microphones etc. I finished my high school, and went to college. At the time (mid-2000's) this was not unusual as college was free in my country, and there were two colleges in my hometown to choose from. My parents were happy for both my brother and I to go, on the condition we stayed at home. College opened my eyes - critical thinking being encouraged, starting to learn about political thought, philosophy, socratic method. It was an amazing few years. Eventually I walked out of there with a Masters in History. My thesis was around the "bonfire of the vanities". I was resarching one day in the library and discovered that the religious authorities used the same justification as the governing body to rule Florence with an iron fist. I think my exit ,at least mentally, started then. After college, I did the minimum in the hall, enough service, microphones etc. I was even appointed an MS, which I turned down based on my doubts. My doubts revolved around the governing body. I simply stopped believing that they were anything special. This went on through the 00's, and coincided nicely in them upping the crazy, asking us to obey without thinking...to trust them implicitly - even though it was clear that their flip flop in terms of "new light" did not exactly engender trust. Eventually, I moved away - to another country. That hall was an "english hall" where we partied pretty hard, but also had a tough ministry, preaching mostly to african refugees - some were chancers, others were looking to better themselves, and others had nothing to lose. I met my wife, who was pioneering at the time - while I was able to keep up the facade at the KH, it slipped at home and it added some tension to our lives. She still wanted to believe it was all true. We moved cities and went to a "native" hall. Things for me did not improve. I actually did try! I prepared for the meetings, went on service and as my language abilities increased, did talks and prayers. But my heart really wasn't in it. I was hoping for some epiphany to hit me, or for it all to "fall into place". It never really did. In the midst of all this, I was slowly climbing up my career ladder - i worked in a field completely unrelated to my studies. Our move to another city was to take a job opportunity. We were eventually relocated on my company's dime to the USA to work at headquarters. It was here that our fade started. We joined a local hall which we both hated. My wife couldn't work for the first few months and so spent a lot time reading things on line about the JW's (particularly Candace Conti etc) and also having to be out on service for hours on end with the "sisters" from the hall. One weekend we were out having a beer and she told me she wanted to leave. We decided then and there to start fading Around 6 months later, sick of fading...we cut and run. Some family have shunned us, others are trying to get us back...but are at least talking to us. The elders still periodically hound us, but we live in a secure block and can field calls when we need to - I did make the mistake of giving them my work cell number, but I just simply have their numbers on block We did the right thing, and we're happy about it. Yes...the getting your life together in your late 20's is difficult, but we're happy with what we are building. Our lives are ours to lead....it's a scary, humbling and FUN ride to be on Category:Fading Category:Male Category:Born In